Cannot Love Me
by elle.lady
Summary: I'm a shadowhunter first before a lady. I have failed miserably on both. I carry too much burden. No wonder he cannot love me. I am just a failed inventor whom no one takes seriously. I drag her down instead of lifting her up. No wonder she cannot love me
1. Chapter 1

**Hello Infernal Devices Fandom!**

**I read a text message last night and got inspired to write this.**

**This is my first ID fanfic. **

**Reviews are welcome!**

**Hope you enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Cannot Love Me<strong>

_Charlotte_

The dark skies of London seemed to have seeped in the walls of the Institute, making the dismal day even gloomier.

_It's getting colder_, Charlotte Branwell observed as she walked on the dark hallways with no particular destination in mind. In the distance, she could hear the faint shrieks of Jessamine and wondered if Will was teasing her again. Her head ached so she decided to leave them alone.

As she ascended the stairwell, she heard Jem playing his violin. She would have enjoyed the music, only, Jem's songs always sounded melancholic and sad. At this moment, her heart was already too heavy that she didn't care for his music.

She wandered again and found herself going to the library. She opened the door and saw Tessa sitting on one of the chairs, her head bent on one of her Charles Dickens' books. This image somehow reminded her of Will when he first came in the Institute. The boy rarely talked to anyone and preferred the company of books before he met Jem.

_Tessa is so deep in her reading_, Charlotte thought, _that she didn't even hear me_. So she just turned around and left Tessa. She decided to go to their den. Upon entering, she wasn't surprised to find it empty. No one but her ever went there unless called for. Will was always disappearing somewhere. Jessamine believes it is not a room for gentlewomen. Tessa, in the short time that she lived here, has already claimed the library. Jem preferred his room. And Henry…

Of course Henry was in his Laboratory, she thought. That is where he spends most of his time anyway. Once again her heart ached. He hadn't slept beside her last night and the night before. Truthfully, he hasn't slept in their room for quite a while now. He preferred the company of cogs and gears rather than hers.

She remembered the first time she met him. Her father was the head of the institute that time and granted Henry Branwell residence. He was peculiar, always thinking in terms of machinery and clockworks. Others had laughed at his failed inventions- laughed at him- and yet he still did not give up inventing devices that would benefit the Shadowhunters. Perhaps it was his perseverance and determination that attracted her to him.

He was also handsome underneath all the grease that seems to stick on his face whenever he is working on a project. His innocence always stunned her. He was also kind and gentle, although sometimes too preoccupied. He was the one who held her hand when her parents died. He was also the one who fought with her to keep the Institute in her care. And then he offered to marry her to satisfy the conditions of Consul Wayland.

Yes, it was just a condition. She had to be married so she could keep the Institute. _So you have someone who can help you manage the Institute_, the Consul said. Other Shadowhunters from prominent families proposed to her. But she said "Yes" to Henry. Some had wondered why him? He was just a quirky failed inventor. But they didn't know Henry.

She said yes to Henry for she loved him. She still does.

And then they were married. He let her run the Institute in her own way. He did not control her like other husbands would have done. He listened to her whenever he wasn't busy. He was still the good friend that she knew.

But he was not a husband to her. He rarely spends the night with her and he hardly shows affection. Her aunt told her not to force affection on Henry. Give him some time. He will come around eventually. He will learn to love her too. But has he already? Loved her?

Not once has Charlotte wondered if he loved her. But she was too afraid of the answer to even ask him. She knew Jessamine believes that Henry married her just so he can stay at the Institute and continue his work. She was too afraid to confront Henry about this matter.

If he said yes, would she throw him out? Can she? Knowing that she had deep affection for her husband?

A loud crash woke Charlotte out of her reverie. She went outside and saw everyone gathered in the living room.

"What happened? Are we under attack again?" Tessa asked.

"No. I believe the explosion came from Henry's laboratory." Jem said.

"Sophie? Can you please call Henry? Make certain he is unharmed." Charlotte said, worriedly.

"Yes, Mrs. Branwell." Sophie murmured and left the room hurriedly.

"What has that twit done now?" Will muttered. Charlotte cast him a glare and he shut up.

After a few minutes, Sophie emerged in the room carrying a limping Henry covered in soot and grease.

"By the Angel! What happened to you?" Charlotte cried, hurrying to Henry's side and helping him on one of the chairs.

"Nothing to worry. I was simply trying to improve the Phosphor when it exploded." Henry shrugged.

"You have burned your arm and broke your ankle, dear." Charlotte said, taking her stele out of her boot where she always keeps it. "Can anyone bring me a bag of ice, please?"

"Yes, madam." Sophie said and went out. Charlotte drew and _iratze_ on Henry's burns.

"Please be careful, dear. The rune can heal you but you would have to rest that foot for a while."

"Yes, thank you, darling." Henry replied, smiling. Sophie came back with the bag of ice which Charlotte placed on Henry's ankle.

"Stay here for a while. Do you need anything?" Charlotte asked.

"No. I'm fine. Although a book about the _Mechanics of an Artificial Human_ would be a delightful reading material." Henry said.

"I'll get it. I know where it is." Tessa volunteered, sounding pleased that she could help.

"Much obliged." Henry smiled. Charlotte made sure Henry was fine as the others went out of the living room. Tessa returned with the book and Henry started reading.

"Is there anything else I could help you with, dear?" Charlotte asked.

"I'm alright. You can return to whatever you were doing before I caused this fiasco."

"If you say so. Just call for me when you need anything." Charlotte said before leaving the room. She only heard his murmured assent.

Once again she wondered if Henry could ever love her too. Even at his times of injury, he chose to be with mechanics and machines rather than her care.

Time, perhaps, would help her gain Henry's love.

And with that thought, she left with a sigh.

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><p><strong>Henry's POV will be coming next…<strong>

**Hope you read it too.**

**So, what can you say? Love it? hate it? do you want to send an army of automatons at me?**

**Review review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to all those who reviewed and added this to their alerts/favorites. You guys rock!**

**So, this is Henry's POV. **

**Enjoy! (",)**

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><p>A sigh. She once again left the room with a sigh. Henry Branwell noticed that lately, that is all he ever gets from his wife. Her sighs, her silence, and her patience.<p>

Henry shifted his position, making sure his ankle was not bothered as he sat back on the couch. He once again opened his book about human-like mechanisms which he has read more times than he can care to remember. But instead of seeing the words and figures in his book, his mind was seeing something else. Vivid memories from the time he first entered the Institute.

Henry shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. He began reading once again but after a few minutes, he found it hard to concentrate. _It is this room,_ he thought, i_t has been a while since I spent much time in this room, which holds too many memories._

He looked up from the book the he was reading to the door where his wife, Charlotte, has just exited. How ironic that the first time he saw Charlotte was when she entered this room years ago. Yes, he was still a boy back then, barely a man. He was around Will's age when he asked Charlotte's father to allow him residence in the Institute where he can continue his studies and innovations.

Then a gentle knock on the door announced the presence of a beautiful young lady and the moment they were introduced Henry knew two things for certain: one, he was attracted to this beautiful lady, Charlotte, and two, he has absolutely no chance of ever having her.

Time passed with the two of them living together peacefully- well, as peaceful as one would expect from a Shadowhunter- and little by little, Henry grew to know Charlotte. He found out that she was patient, kind and encouraging. She even tried to defend him from the others who were taunting him. She was also very organized and proud. She once even tried to understand mechanics and his inventions and he was more than happy to explain everything to her. But try as she might, she still was not able to understand his world.

Henry began to frown as the next waves of memories hit him. It was the tragic night that sealed their fate forever. Charlotte's parents- the kind and generous people who welcomed him warmly- have died. It was the first time he saw her vulnerable, weak and helpless. The charlotte he knew, which was to him as dainty as a cat yet as deadly as a tiger, was replaced by someone so broken.

He tried to help her, to comfort her. But he didn't know how to fix her. He knew mechanisms- how cogs and gears work together- and how to fix almost anything that has been broken yet he had absolutely no idea on how to fix Charlotte. So he did the one thing he could think of, he held her hand tightly, wishing that he could somehow give his strength to her.

Charlotte slowly got better after the funeral. She tried her best to run the institute despite her young age. But there were other who wanted the Institute for themselves. And then there was the condition that the Consul gave which almost shattered his world. His Charlotte has to marry in order to keep the Institute. Henry thought this was the end. Charlotte would be gone from him forever… unless. _I could turn this misfortune into an opportunity_ he thought. So he offered to marry Charlotte. He knew she received many proposals and that his chance was slim but he had nothing else to lose and everything to gain.

Surprisingly, Charlotte accepted her proposal and they were married. Many questioned Charlotte's decision to marry him. Even he asked himself that but Charlotte never answered any of them. Rumors started that she only wished to marry him so she could have total reign in the Institute. Some said it was because she pitied him. Some think Charlotte had made the biggest mistake of her life.

Henry tried to be a good husband. But he didn't know what to do. Charlotte remained the same, never asked for anything, and never showed anything. He found himself more confused than ever so he retreated to the only thing that he was certain of, that he can decipher- his inventions.

Their life as a married couple was no different from the life they had before. He allowed her to run the Institute as she sees fit for it is her right to do so. He never got in her way and continued to support her. She never tried to interfere with his projects as well. Although sometimes, he would see Charlotte looking at him with an odd expression in her eyes. And before he could understand what it is, she would change her expression.

He saw how Charlotte strived to gain respect from their peers and he felt guilty for not being able to help her up. Instead, his failed inventions dragged her down. But she still did not complain. Whenever his inventions would explode, set fire or fail, she would just ask him to be careful next time.

While others laughed at his failures, Charlotte would just give him an encouraging smile. And because of her smiles, he tried again and again to make something that will benefit the Shadowhunters- that would help his wife. Perhaps, if he could be successful in inventing something helpful, his wife might find it in her heart to love. Perhaps he could be worthy of being her husband.

That has been his goal for the past few years. The reason why he would incessantly work on long hours in his laboratory, a way to attain her love.

Henry was startled when the door to the den burst open and Benedict Lightwood stood at the doorway.

"Where is your wife?" Benedict asked imperiously.

"I don't know. Perhaps in the library. Why do you ask?" Henry inquired.

"We have some Enclave business to discuss." Benedict answered then looked at Henry's appearance. Henry realized that his clothes may have been stained with grease and soot and his foot was injured.

"Another invention mishap, I presume?"

"Yes. You see, I was trying to improve the Phosphor's usefulness by adding more combustible chemicals to the core then improving the valve which carries the-"

"Henry, I do not understand half of what you are saying nor do I care for it." Benedict interrupted, "sometimes I wonder why Charlotte chose you. You only weigh her down."

"That is enough, Benedict. I will not have you disrespecting my husband, the master of this household, while you are in here." Charlotte's clear voice said fiercely.

"Master of the household? We both know that is not true. Now, where is the meeting taking place? I do not want to waste more of my time in this idle chit-chat."

"In the library, where it is always being held ever since the first time." Charlotte replied acidly. Benedict grunted and went past her. But he paused and looked back at Henry.

"I assume you won't be joining us, Henry? As always. Ever since the first time." and without waiting for a reply, he went out of the room.

"Don't let him get to you, dear." Charlotte said, walking towards Henry and laying a hand on his shoulder.

"Not to worry. By the evening I may have forgotten whatever it is that he said." Henry assured her.

"Alright. I must go now to the meeting. I'll tell you whatever will be discussed." She said, walking out of the door once again.

"I doubt I'll be much help but thank you, sweetheart."

Charlotte once again looked at him with that odd expression before she left the room.

And once again, Henry was confused as to what that means. He picked up his book and began reading, fully concentrated now. Benedict's words echoing in his mind.

One day, he will discover and invent a magnificent mechanism that will benefit the Shadowhunters. And once that happens, he will be worthy.

Now all he has to do is to find the mechanism- the mechanism that will bring him love.

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><p><strong>OK. So maybe Henry was a bit OOC here… sorry 'bout that.<strong>

**So, is my mistake forgivable? Was it bad? What do you think?**

**This is meant to be a two-shot but if you guys want more chenry, all you have to do is ask… and maybe give some more ideas.**

**Please review and send me your thoughts!**

**Thanks!**


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